Once upon a time lived a starry eyed young girl. 

Engaged at the tender age of 18. Married at 20 to a handsome athlete man she adored. 

He was the love of her life and she strived to be the perfect wife.  For 16 years his wish was her command.

They moved to a land far far away from their families to start a new life in the land of balmy breezes, tropical foliage and beautiful beaches. 

His career was the priority. She didn’t care because she knew deep within her was a greatness yet to be revealed. Her time would come. She patiently waited. 

She cooked his favorite foods baked the best goodies. Gardened and canned, hung the flowers to dry. Decorated their home in his favorite style. Country! Painted and created, crafty she was. Holidays were festive and she was quick to plan a party to entertain friends. Any reason was a good reason to celebrate. 

No babies came but she knew it was for the best.  She thought she protected their secret. He was violent. Not all the time only under the influence of JD. She gracefully justified. For better or worse she promised to God in front of their family and friends.  

Then he found another love, half his age, half her size. 

The starry eyed girl felt betrayed. Lost, daze and confused. It took her many years to find that greatness she knew lied deep within her. 

She never felt like a victim. The beautiful girl was proud of her strength to live her vows, keep their secret, and protect their world. 

Yes, this is an over simplified version of a my past life. It’s been over 12 years since the fateful day I left and never looked back. My journey back to me has been terrifying, reflective, exciting, euphoric, suspenseful, confusing and many more amazing feelings and stages.

I wouldn’t trade a moment of that journey. I know my story isn’t unique.

It’s just my story. I find myself pondering this chapter in my life because I feel I am coming full circle. 

The world I rebuilt is polar opposite to the world I left behind that terrifying day in July 1995. 

This single fun loving martini drinking career girl is quilting again. I am child proofing the environment,  always on the look out for hidden dangers lurking in the furniture. I read parenting books. I goo goo and gah gah over adorable babies. I shop for baby stuff. I can’t remember the last new outfit I bought for myself.  I am house shopping! 

Am I changing or morphing to bring this incredible gift of a child in to my life? 

It really doesn’t matter. I am being true to me. I am building the life I want. I wake up every morning excited to start my day. I love going to work and I love coming home to my simple and increasingly more domesticated life. 

I think Martha Stewart should start to worry.